Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Are you a spy? Do you need a passport?

Are you a spy? Do you need a passport? Are you planning on killing somebody and denying responsibility? Or are you planning on snooping on a country with whom your Government is on allegedly friendly terms?

Well why not come down to Ireland for all your counterfeit travel document needs? That's right, Ireland Inc., located on the corner of Atlantic and Britain, has got a limited, once-in-a-lifetime deal on aliases, cover stories and pseudonyms. Ireland Inc., one of the world's leading sources of deniable passports since the 1980's when we (allegedly) allowed rich Arabs to buy our passports. Ireland Inc., the go-to guys for all of Colonel Oliver North's passport needs (allegedly). Whether you're planning on knocking off an arms-dealer in Dubai, or spying on your old enemies in the West, you can never go wrong with an Irish passport.

Best of all, Irish passport users never need worry about nasty side-effects from the Irish Government: no threats of war, no serious investigations, no counter-espionage, nothing.*

So next time you need to infiltrate a hostile nation, use an Irish passport. When I'm languishing in a Pakistani prison, accused of being a Mossad agent, I'll thank you for it.

*Warning: Over-use of Irish passports may lead to the expulsion of your diplomats. This webpost is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, and not be viewed in a serious light, least of all by any lawyers, Colonels, rich Arabs or former Irish Government Ministers, nor by members of Mossad.

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