FF, Your Ego Is Writing Cheques the Economy Can't Cash!

"Good news" today on the job front - you will remember that SR Technics shut last year, leaving over one thousand out of work, and a number of apprentices with unfinished qualifications. Well, the Government, in its eternal wisdom and continuing desire to somehow create the illusion of given a rat's-ass about the unemployed, has announced that the Air Corps will be taking on 30 apprentices to finish their training with the Defence Forces.

That's a relief for the young men and women who will now be able to gain their qualification, and given the very tough year the former SRT employees have had, they deserve some respite. But it also represents further muddle-headed thinking from the Government, and either a lack of understanding or lack of interest as to how you actually create jobs. By taking these apprentices on with the military, at the tax-payers expense, we are merely substituting wealth-creating private sector jobs with a further drain on the over-burdened exchequer. Will these apprentices have to serve with the Air Corps when they have completed their training? If so, then was there an open competition for the apprenticeships, or were the spots gifted to former SR Technic's employees to save face for the Government? If the new apprentices do not have to serve with the Air Corps, then where is the benefit for our military air wing in providing this training?

If only there was somewhere else for these apprentices to complete their course - it's a real pity Ireland doesn't have one of the world's largest airlines headquartered in Dublin! I'm sure if that was the case, the Government would have bent over backwards trying to support such an airline, helping it establish the facilities it needed, and creating a healthy business environment. Then that airline might be able to provide jobs for those in the aviation sector who find themselves unemployed.

No, it's better to just squander Ireland's tiny military budget on trying to patch over the holes in the Government's employment policies, by providing training for apprentices without the promise of a job at the end.

That's much better.

Half-assed Magnificence: Irish Defence Procurement

Delightfully Waltish thread over at Politics.ie, detailing myths and legends surrounding the Irish Defence Forces. All the usual are there: the Rangers are banned from bars near the Curragh due to their homicidal tendencies, troops have to shout "BANG!" during exercises because we have no actual rounds (live or otherwise) for them to use, and that Naval Officers liked to tell visiting Soviet crews about Ireland's secret submarine. But also discussed has been Ireland's incredibly bizarre ability to hold helicopter procurement competitions which are usually won by the least impressive aircraft on offer.

First, at the beginning of the decade we had the competition for a medium-life helo contract between the Sikorsky S-92 and the Eurocopter Cougar. Bizarrely, the S-92 won, despite the fact that it had not seen operational service, while the Cougar was already in use, and was based on the tried and trusted Puma. This development had absolutely nothing to do with promise by Sikorsky to invest €148 million in a production facility in north Dublin, where many constituents of the then Taoiseach, Bertie "El Berto" Ahern, worked. However, this sweet deal fell through when Eurocopter, rather unsportingly, took the state to the European Court over the decision.

So the Air Corps soldiered on, sans medium lift helicopters, and its fleet of Dauphins eventually faded from service, leaving only the Alouette IIIs on the front line. Yes Alouette's, the helicopter in service before my Dad reached the production stage.

And then, Baldonnel was blessed with the promise of new helicopters. "Brilliant", said the airborne brass in blue, "we'll have some of those Blackhawks the Yanks are always raving about." Alas, the government felt otherwise. After all, if we were to buy Blackhawks, which have a scary name, and are used by such evil imperialist regimes as the US, Israel and Austria (Austrian bastards, going around like they own the place!), then we would upset Ireland's lunatic fringe of sandal-wearing, bike-loving hippies.

Instead, the boys and girls in Baldonnel got the Agusta AW139, a well-known military vehicle of mythical might, used by such powerhouses as the Ambulance Service of New South Wales and the Estonian Border Guard. Still they have nice leather seats, which will mean the Army Ranger Wing can transit to hostage rescue missions in comfort. As can any Ministers who need to use the helicopters for, I don't know, flying to their constituency to open a pub.

I'm just dying to see how our procurement process works in the purchase of new ships for the Navy. Smart money says that the Navy ends up with superyacht equipped with tennis courts and swimming pools ... you know, so the government can use it for a bit of a relaxing break when the Navy isn't deploying the "SUPERYACHT!" (for that will be its official name, "SUPERYACHT!" ) on drug-busting patrols.

The Air Corps and Prickgate

I know that some of you must be shocked that, given my Walter Mitty-esque obsession with all things military, I have failed to comment on so-called "prickgate" - the Court Martialling of an Irish Air Corps officer for referring to his superior as a "prick".

The always-excellent Michael Clifford has a good column on the issue in the Sunday Tribune, and I think he covers a lot of the pertinent topics arising from the fiasco. Whatever way you look at it, this is a disaster for the Air Corps and the Defence Forces in general. For an officer to be essentially made redundant, in civilian terms, over an incident where he called his boss a rude name seems a little excessive, especially given that there were no witnesses to the event.

The severity of the sentence is particularly stark when one considers how essentially civilianised the Air Corps has become, at least in the eyes of fat civvies such as me. In contrast to the generation of men who took part in the "Vampire reunion" this weekend, the modern Air Corps does not even have a notional Air Defence mission (leading some less charitable members of the army and Naval Service to refer to their airborne colleagues as the "Bluffwaffe"). This lack of a combat capability is no bad thing when one considers Ireland's prime geo-strategic position (i.e. safely sanwiched between the US and UK), and it allows the Air Corps to focus on missions that actually matter, like maritime patrol. But it does raise the question as to why we are drumming an officer out of a service which will probably never see combat; surely discipline is not a matter of life and death?

That the officer in question, Commandant Donohoe, could be dismissed for such a small infraction even after saving the Air Corps over €1.5m in fuel-savings, and saving the life of a colleague while on UN duty, raises serious questions about the Air Corps morale, and (in civvy-speak) the management culture of the service. Is it simply that, at a time when budget's are being slashed across the public service in Ireland, the military is not overly-fond of someone who can spot that the Defence Forces might be carrying around a bit of extra fat?