The Final Ignominy - Taiwan Laughs At Us.

To be fair, they had a number of spot on cultural references; Father Ted is obviously big in Taiwan.

Doesn't This Just Sum It Up? Pictures of the IMF in Dublin

From the Guardian Live Irish Debt Crisis Blog

11.23am: We're getting the first pictures of the IMF officials who have flown to Dublin for bailout negotiations.

 
Photograph: Peter Morrison/AP  

Here you can see Ajai Chopra (on the left), the deputy director of the European department of the IMF, walking towards the Central Bank of Ireland where the talks are taking place. We can't immediately identify his colleague, I'm afraid, but once we have a name I"ll let you know. Unless you've got an idea?

The foreign financiers walk past an Irish beggar as they swoop in to clean up the mess Fianna Fail has made of this economy.

And Now For An Announcement By The Government

You can even buy your own at http://grandgrand.bigcartel.com/

America and China - Watch Out! We're Coming After You Next!

Take that, snooty continental bird!

According to Herman Von Rompuy, European President, the European Union is in a survival crisis. Way to go Ireland!

Yes, truly our incompetence knows no bounds. Little ol' Ireland, through its corrupt practices, terrible handling of budgets, and neo-gombeenism, may now have actually killed off the European project. More than 50 years in the making, bringing together the most bitter of enemies and cementing peace in a once war-torn continent - but still brought down by the innate selfishness of the Irish political class.

But why stop there? I say let's keep going, until we have managed to undermine and destroy every single superpower, multi-national community or alliance in existence. China, America, NATO, the UN - Ireland could take them all down.

If America exports democracy (admittedly through Marine Expeditionary Units), if China exports a "harmonius society" to Africa (ahem), and the UN exports excessive, well-coiffed bureaucracy - why can't Ireland export failure? It'll put us on the map!

Truly, this is a proud day for this island. I feel absolutely no shame in being Irish. Not even a tiny ounce. And certainly not massive, herculean doses of scarlet faced embarassment at how we have let ourselves down.

Storm Clouds Brewing?

Oh no, don't worry...I'm not talking about that article by Morgan Kelly. I already know Ireland is basically fecked (thanks Bertie!), and I know that you all know about the basic truth of Ireland's coming economic apocalypse. Admittedly, I am a little ashamed as to how my smartarse, joke predictions of what life in Ireland will be like under German or IMF rule may actually come true.

No, in writing on storm clouds I am actually casting my glance further afield, to Asia, where China seems to have now decided that it should flex some muscles. You will of course be aware of the existing stand-off between China and Japan over the Diaoyu/Senkaku islands, the arrest of a Chinese fishing crew by the Japanese Coast Guard for (allegedly) colliding with a Japanese vessel while (allegedly) drunk. Allegedly? Look at the video below!



China's growing confidence is further underlined by their response to Hilary Clinton's offer to mediate between China and Japan over the island chain, and the case of the drunken sailors. Does anyone know what the Mandarin for "Piss off Hilary" is?

But China's not alone in displaying a ballsy attitude while dealing with its neighbours. In a suitably ironic response to China's own "String of Pearls" strategy, Vietnam is now offering Cam Ranh Bay Naval Base, the much beloved former shore leave destination for generations of Soviet sailors, to foreign navies. Apparently, all foreign navies.

I'm sure such a move could not possibly backfire. After all, it's not like the Vietnamese need to be seriously concerned about being the stage for a clash between the great powers. I'm sure deploying a strategy of containment and encirclement against China will be greeted with a totally cool-headed and reasonable response in Beijing.

See, suddenly Morgan's article doesn't look that bad, does it?

A Fresh Start?

Many of the people I have been speaking to in Ireland over the last two years have complained about how "all these parties are the same" and of how "I wish there was a new party" that would address whichever issue has the commentator particularly riled up; unemployment, corruption, the ineptitude of the banks, whatever.

Well, two new parties that I have had my eye on are edging closer towards a meaningful existence. The Irish Democratic Party has announced what is, to my knowledge, there first actual meeting:


"The Irish Democratic Party is delighted to announce its first ever Public Meeting. Entitled "Rebuilding Your Republic" the purpose of the meeting is to bring our growing membership together in the one room and to make ourselves known to our fellow citizens. This event will take place in The Church Cafe/Bar just off Mary Street, Dublin on Tuesday, 16 November 2010 at 8pm."

Meanwhile, the Irish Liberal Party is rumoured to be holding a public event on the 21st of November, details to be confirmed.

So there you have it. You can either go along to one event or the other, or you can stay at home and watch Desperate Housewives. I won't blame you if you choose the latter, but if, after the election, politics in Ireland remain, well, rather samey, you don't really have the right to complain, do you? After all, you didn't even sacrifice one evening of Eva Longoria's company in order to try and bring about change.

Even I, A Right-Wing Nut, Was Shocked

Can't say I agree with the students; not everyone should be entitled to free 3rd-level education, and the system as it stands now is a hand-out for the middle classes and takes money away from investment in 2nd-level.

But frankly, the violence shown by the Guards in the below video is a little shocking - and does not bode well for future protests, when people are truly angry over what will be revealed in December's budget. (with due thanks for the footage to Cathal Furey and Politics.ie

Insert Dragon Cliche Here - China's New Colonies

The Dragon's talons extend into Europe! The East is Red - Eastern Europe that is! Chairman Mao's Magic Wok Hits Sofia! Pun-laden stereotypes aside, China's presence in Eastern Europe is steadily growing. Also, I could have had a glorious career as tabloid headlines writer. Sigh...

China has now (as I have been predicting for ages. Well, two months anyway!) seriously begun to take advantage of the economic chaos still gripping the economics of the Western world, by using the hunger among European and North American economies for hard cash to snap up some cut-price investments. The Asia Times reports on China's growing business interests in Eastern Europe, with Great Wall Motors establishing a factory in Bulgaria, while Huawei and ZTE are heavily involved in the strategicly sensitive upgrade of the country's telecommunications network. Interestingly, Bulgaria has a corporate tax rate of 10%. So if the EU does push our tax rate up from 12.5%, Ireland is really in trouble.

True, like any tabloid hack I may have overstated the case by claiming that Bulgaria and its ilk east of the Carpathians are now colonies of China. After all, this is only economic engagement; yellow stars on a red background do not yet fly over Sofia, no Xia class subs patrol the Black Sea, and no J-11's roar of runways near Bucharest. But is such a thing possible?

Judging from China's engagement in the "Developing World" (to use what I believe is now the PC term) military engagement can follow economic investment. ComingAnarchy.com has a great post on the so-called "String of Pearls", China's system of naval bases throughout the Indian Ocean (not to be confused with a "Chinese pearl necklace", which is very different, and only allowed in some "nightclubs" in Hong Kong). It is important to remember that these facilities have tended to go hand-in-hand with infrastructure developments in the countries concerned, for example Hambantota, which represents both a commercial investment by China in Sri Lanka, and the development of a PRC military presence in the country.

But, and let's not be politically correct here, these are all poor countries that China is investing in, right? No rich, Western country would be so desperate for cash as to open its gates to that kind of investment! Oh by the way, did I tell you that Ireland's bond yields today are at 7.68%?

It's certainly something to bear in mind as Ireland slowly goes broke; just what will we be desperate enough to do if and when the ECB cuts off our funding? Could we see considerable Chinese investment in Ireland's economy, and what military strings would come attached to the commercial goodies concerned? What would a cash-strapped, hard-pressed US be able to do about a Chinese military presence in Europe (alright, maybe not Ireland, but possibly in Eastern Europe)? After all, Chinese bases in Europe (especially Western Europe) would be an awesome comeback for that whole Opium War thing.

Suprisingly, China failed to see the funny side.

Have I gone mad? Probably. Or do I really see a Xia class out there in the Irish Sea?

Oh my God! The sea view from Dalkey is, like, totally ruined!

The Charade Just Got Charadier.

The news that Jim "Wrong-Way" McDaid has just resigned his seat will heap further pressure on the Taoiseach, Brian Cowen, to stop acting like the Generalissimo of a Banana Republic and allow the people of Donegal South West, Dublin South, Waterford and now Donegal North East bye-elections to select new representatives to replace those lost to Europe, ego, a bad back and political cynicism, respectively.

Of course, Cowen can be forgiven for not wanting to hear what the Irish people have to say at the poll booths, and his fingers are still crossed that these bye-elections can be put on the long finger until after Christmas, and more importantly, the budget. Yes, with every day that passes, the idea that Ireland is a proper representative democracy becomes more and more ludicrous. And what is particularly sad is that our democracy seems to have been sacrificed for little benefit - Mr. Cowen argues that to hold the bye-elections would "distract" the government from "tackling our financial situation" - yet despite the fact that this government lingers on, thumbing its nose at the people, the markets are hammering us. As I write this, our bond yields are climbing higher and higher, and are now comfortably above 7%. A dull, dry figure perhaps, but what this means is that you, dear reader, wherever you are in the world, whether you be drunk, high, or shrieking "Death to the Infidels" in the caves of Tora Bora, can almost certainly borrow money more cheaply than the Irish government. The markets trust you, YOU, more than the Irish State. That's how bad things are.

So the Government has sacrified the principles of Irish democracy for nothing - do they use this stay on  democracy to achieve real change, say by cutting back on wastage in the public sector, perhaps by cutting the ESB bossess salary from €750,000 down to something sane? Do they use these freedom from the demands of the proles to push through reform of Ireland's electoral system?

No. No they don't. And the cold, hard titans of the financial markets can see through our sorry charade of a Republic.